What The Sims can teach brands about social media.

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Before we had Twitter and Facebook to keep us busy, we Millennials had The Sims. We spent hours building fake houses for the fake families whose lives we controlled—and sometimes destroyed—and we were constantly entertained by what this early-2000s computer game thought of how people interact.

Relationships in The Sims were basic and formulaic, following very precise logic. There were no two Sims who couldn’t be friends and it was never too late to start over with a wife you cheated on just hours ago.

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The Sims logic

But even if relationships in The Sims were more for novelty and entertainment than anything else, there are quite a few true-to-life social media lessons brands could learn from The Sims.

1. You have to do it.

There’s no way around it. As social animals we have to form relationships with other people. If you deprived your poor Sim of human interaction, they would cry in the corner or refuse to do what you told them because they were quite literally paralyzed by loneliness.

Don’t think your brand is any different, don’t ever think you’re above building relationships with people. Just because you have a logo doesn’t mean you have the right to hide behind it on social networks. If real, true connections are an afterthought, your brand could meet the same, bleak fate as this unfortunate Sim.

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2. The number of friends you have matters.

In The Sims players could be rewarded with job promotions if they had a certain number of friends. Beyond the highly basic game logic, there’s a lesson here: relationships pay off. Sure, you can have one (or even a few) great friendship, but let’s face it, when you’re talking social media, you’re talking networking, you’re talking connections. You’re talking about quantity.

The power of social media is in its reach and scale. This doesn’t mean you have to be mainstream, but you have to at least own a niche! Of course, you want strong relationships, but you want enough of them, too. Numbers matter, people. They aren’t everything, but they do make a difference.

3. Quality matters too, so do it often and do it consistently.

In The Sims it was almost impossible to maintain quality relationships with enough people to keep your brand-new job. By the time you called up your neighbor and waited the inexplicable 3 hours for them to arrive at your door, your Sim was complaining about being hungry or in serious need of some sleep before the carpool arrived for work. If they went a few days without talking, their friendship status was in danger of dropping to the “who are you?” level. It was hard work to make and keep friends, but when you made it a priority for your Sim, they were happier and better off for it.

Brands aren’t done when they get someone to “like” their page, and they’re not doing much in the way of “maintaining” a relationship when they’re just blasting senseless updates at people. Quality relationships involve hard work and serious commitment. You can’t just talk about anything, you have to talk about what matters or your relationship progress bar is going to stay flat.

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4. The phone’s great and all, but it’s no substitute for face-to-face communication.

The Sims offered two ways to communicate with others: over the phone or in person. Pretty simple world, right? Unsurprisingly, phone conversations didn’t give many interaction options, and barely added any friendship points to a relationship. Face-to-face talk was where it was at. In person, you could not only chat, but you could hug or flirt or joke or, hey, make out.

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The lesson? In-person brand experiences are best, but technology and social media can help cover your bases between in-person brand experiences, such as when someone is buying or using your product.

Brands have all these different forms of social media at their disposal to give them more moments and methods to connect with people. Every channel, every network, every community offers different ways to connect and new people to connect with. Not all kinds of content work on every social network, not all content works the same way, and not everyone in one community is the same as those in a different community.

Brands don’t need to be on every channel, and they don’t need to be the same on every channel. They just need to be relevant to wherever they’re participating and consider the context of their relationship levels with others there.

5. Think about what you’re saying or you’ll get slapped.

Don’t talk to everyone the same. Your Sim wife would get pissed when you didn’t reciprocate the affection she needed. Your Sim neighbor would slap you when you flirted with her before greeting her first. So why do brands try to sell to people who they haven’t even done the equivalent of exchanging pleasantries first?

Build a relationship, but don’t force one. Brand interactions have steps and levels to them just like Sim relationships—and real-life relationships! Treating everyone the same just doesn’t work at a certain point. Adapt and find how you fit in, or I guarantee you will get slapped.

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Social is not a strategy, it’s a way of life.

I’m very confused by brands that think “doing social media” means creating a content calendar with regular Facebook posts at the same time, every day, “engaging” with their fans things with posts like “what’s your favorite color?” or “share this picture of a Coke with all of your friends.” I’m sorry, but that’s desperate and ridiculous. If one of your friends posted that and you saw it in your newsfeed, honestly tell me you wouldn’t at least consider unfriending them.

This is a typical (read: lame) attempt at social.

Social is a way of life, it’s a culture. If you’re going to be a social brand, be a social brand. Be authentic. Have a personality. Be accountable. Make mistakes. Be real. Take risks. Be relatable. Be relevant. Be interesting.

There have been thousands of blog posts written about this and I’m amazed by how many brands still embarrass themselves in the social sphere. Are you really not ready to admit you’re clueless yet?

Social is all about people and it’s funny to watch brands trying to be people in their attempts at being social. Instead, they miss the mark and are, at best, vaguely relevant.

Do you have any friends who keep a calendar of uninteresting posts that they make at the same times every weekday? Of course not. Because, frankly, nothing is more antisocial than that. So why do brands think those kind of activities make their brands social?

The best kind of social media marketing is the kind that your customers do for you. It’s always been this way and it always will be. Be a social brand and people will be social about you. Encourage a social culture—openness, transparency, authenticity. It’s sad that I’m having to spell this out.

So…what does it mean to have a social brand culture?

Your brand cannot reap the rewards of social unless you commit. And the rewards are great. Trust me when I say you want them. You get the most enthusiastic fans who love to rave about you, who will be loyal to you, and who will help propel you into the future.

Being social has to be more than just acting social. You can’t just have a Facebook Page that you post on, you can’t just upload videos to YouTube, you can’t just sprinkle “like” buttons all over your website. Your brand needs to be social, show its personality.

Look at what Starbucks has been able to do because they’ve built a social brand. With My Starbucks Idea, they’re crowdsourcing their business development. Do you not realize how incredible that is? Starbucks’ fans are so enthusiastic that they’re willing to take the time and put their ideas on the line to grow the brand. Not only that, but Starbucks has paved for the way for its fans to start social experiments like Jonathan’s Card, pushing the boundaries of social. And this shouldn’t be too puzzling for you. Humans are social animals, after all. We love to talk. We love help each other, and we get pleasure from doing it. Brands can take advantage of this as long as they don’t try to take advantage of it.

My Starbucks Idea gives anyone the chance to give Starbucks their next great business idea.

Social looks different for every brand (at least, it should), just like every person has a different personality. Another brand that comes to mind when I think social brands is American Express. They’ve tapped into foursquare to run unprecedented campaigns, they launched the OPEN Forum that has proven to be a hugely valuable community for small businesses. They’re really showing their commitment to becoming a social brand and these days, they’re truly living social. They’re not just executing social tactics. They’re shifting their brand to a social brand.

So I ask you: When is your brand going to stop “doing social media” and start living as a social brand?

Antisocial networking won’t get you business.

I emailed a property manager for interior photos of an apartment I came across on Craigslist, and she replied, “You may look at our Face book page!” I was a little miffed that she couldn’t even link me, and a little horrified that they (apparently?) didn’t have a website. All I could write back was “Um. Ok.”

(Correction: They do have a website. It just doesn’t have property photos…or page titles.)

If your marketing efforts generate a lead, don’t send that lead to another lead generation channel.

Not only does it make you look unprofessional, it’s not a good experience for the potential customer. If you’re going to look for leads using Craigslist, be prepared to deal with them when they come. Sending someone to your Facebook Page for product information is quintessential antisocial marketing. Don’t do it. Instead, make this information easy to find on your website, and when someone asks for it, be ready to share it with them. You shouldn’t even have a Facebook Page if it’s the first (or only) place you put product information.

Facebook isn’t your new website.

Especially if THIS is what your Facebook Page looks like.

Frankly, as a property management company, Facebook shouldn’t be on your radar until your website is up to par. If I’m finding you on Craigslist, I should be able to easily click to your website for more information. And I expect your website to have all (or most) of the information I need to make a decision. Honestly, it doesn’t even need to look all that great. Sure, it can’t hurt, but as long as the content is there, your customers will get what they need and expect.

Your customers might be on Facebook, but they’re not looking for you there and they don’t want you there.

If you’re a property management company, your customers are probably finding you on Craigslist and they’re researching you through your website and review sites. If you want to “do social media,” all you have to do is make yourself easy to find and make sure your customers have good things to say about you.

Social media is all about—wait for it—being social. It’s not something you do, it’s something your customers do. Make it easy for them. If you’re providing your customers with a really good experience, they’ll be vocal about it. (The same goes if you’re providing them a really bad experience, so be careful.)

Social networks might bring people to brands, but brands shouldn’t bring people to social networks.

First of all, it does no good. (Unless your objective is to raise awareness of your Facebook Page, which it isn’t.) Social networks are about content discovery through social connections. They are not a place to store your content, and social media profiles are not a place to send customers.

If you’re a property manager looking to “do social media,” focus on being social and send people to your website, not away from it. This also applies to all those other brands who run commercials with “social” calls to action to “like them on Facebook” or “find them on Twitter.” Sorry, guys, but that’s not a social strategy.

Is this a common practice among property management companies or did I just hit the jackpot here?